A lot of events are happening around me these days, with my friends, and that has incited me to write this new post.
Marriage means sharing your life with your "life partner". Who should be your life partner or say, the person you want to spend rest of your life with...should'nt it be your decision alone? Now, if you find that someone in your life and wish to be with him/her for the rest of your life...why can't that happen smoothly?
Well! i am talking about the role played by parents in their children's marriages. If you have found a partner for your life and tell your parents about it, why can't they simply accede to it and stay happy (unless there's something seriously wrong with your choice). It's ultimately the girl and the guy who have to stay together forever and not the parents so why do they intervene so much. Not that they are not welcome to contribute to our one in a lifetime's decision (marriage)....but definately not with unnecessary or illogical reasonings...for example, you like someone and want to marry that someone but your parents compel you do drop the idea just because that guy/girl is not from your caste or religion, no matter how wonderful that person is at heart (why isn't that given importance to??); or suppose you are a girl and find a guy of your age (say 24-25 years old) but your parents complain that he is not drawing a handsome salary or is not at a very high position, in short, does not meet their expectations ... ignoring the fact that he's too young to be at that position and is capable enough to reach there provided you give him some time...Oh!! but how is that possible...the moment girl turns 25-26 in our society..she is too old for marriage and must get married immediately or else 'she'll miss the bus' and obviously that guy does'nt have much choice except for cursing his parents for not planning his birth three years early. or if you are a guy and find a girl of your choice, your parents don't agree because your mom is too possessive about you and fears that your wife might become priority in your life and out of such insecurity parents try their level best to ensure that you refrain from getting married to her and marry a girl of their choice; or your mom and dad are too conservative to allow their daughter-in-law to work and so you get sandwitched between your beloved and your parents..as she wants to work whereas your parents want someone who would sit at home, give company to her mom-in-law, produce kids for them and live life according to them....and if you try to oppose them, they blackmail you with all possible non-sensical drama ....that they'll die or that you will be dead for them if you marry that girl or guy or how could you be so selfish and bla bla bla...why do they become so irrational at times...even when they know that their child is not happy with their choice of girl or guy and want to marry someone of his/her choice... very conveniently they choose to ignore their child's tears and pain...Well! are'nt they becoming selfish here??? Why on earth do they put their own child in such a sick position, where he/she has to make a choice between his/her parents and beloved...when they know that their child is attached to them and will get ready to marry a girl/guy of their choice .... how could they ignore their children's happiness and get so harsh on them???
Well, apart from the above there's another ridiculous reason for not permitting their children to get married. Sometimes, i believe, when there's no problem we have to create a problem ... since we are some sick negative fools who can neither live nor let others live happily. Can you imagine a situation where both the parents are ready for their children's choice marriage but the marriage is still not taking place because they get stuck with the venue...ha!
The situation arises when girl's parents and and guys parents stay in two different cities or States....and the isue is who shall come where for the marriage...Girl's parents insist the groom's parents/relatives to come to their city because girl is supposed to leave from her "Babul's house" being an age old cutom... but guy's parents don't agree and insist the girl's side to come to their city and arrange for marriage as they can't be expected to go so far being "Groom's Parents". And in the entire episode it's ultimately the girl and the guy who suffer. And if the girl and guy oppose their parents and decide to simply have a registered marriage...the parents have a problem with that too (what will the society say)....and start blackmailing their children that they'll die if they take that step...and ultimately the marriage is called off...and children marry someone of their parents choice and..... live life unhappily!!!
I wonder, what do parents get from all this???
All i want to say is that once the child has grown in to an adult, why can't parents allow him/her to live their lives as per their wish? Why do they want to have hold over them or dominate them throughout their lives???.... When they know that their children have reached an age where they can think independently and rationally, why can't they accept it???
A humble plea to all the parents is, please stop playing with your child's life...agreed that a child is indebted to you for his life but that doesn't imply that you have a right to dominate your child forever ...give them space in life as every individual needs it....just because children marry someone of their choice does'nt mean that you loose importance in their lives...children always remain attached to their parents...and you'll always be loved and respected by your child provided you learn to accept and respect his/her choices in life.
Marriage means sharing your life with your "life partner". Who should be your life partner or say, the person you want to spend rest of your life with...should'nt it be your decision alone? Now, if you find that someone in your life and wish to be with him/her for the rest of your life...why can't that happen smoothly?
Well! i am talking about the role played by parents in their children's marriages. If you have found a partner for your life and tell your parents about it, why can't they simply accede to it and stay happy (unless there's something seriously wrong with your choice). It's ultimately the girl and the guy who have to stay together forever and not the parents so why do they intervene so much. Not that they are not welcome to contribute to our one in a lifetime's decision (marriage)....but definately not with unnecessary or illogical reasonings...for example, you like someone and want to marry that someone but your parents compel you do drop the idea just because that guy/girl is not from your caste or religion, no matter how wonderful that person is at heart (why isn't that given importance to??); or suppose you are a girl and find a guy of your age (say 24-25 years old) but your parents complain that he is not drawing a handsome salary or is not at a very high position, in short, does not meet their expectations ... ignoring the fact that he's too young to be at that position and is capable enough to reach there provided you give him some time...Oh!! but how is that possible...the moment girl turns 25-26 in our society..she is too old for marriage and must get married immediately or else 'she'll miss the bus' and obviously that guy does'nt have much choice except for cursing his parents for not planning his birth three years early. or if you are a guy and find a girl of your choice, your parents don't agree because your mom is too possessive about you and fears that your wife might become priority in your life and out of such insecurity parents try their level best to ensure that you refrain from getting married to her and marry a girl of their choice; or your mom and dad are too conservative to allow their daughter-in-law to work and so you get sandwitched between your beloved and your parents..as she wants to work whereas your parents want someone who would sit at home, give company to her mom-in-law, produce kids for them and live life according to them....and if you try to oppose them, they blackmail you with all possible non-sensical drama ....that they'll die or that you will be dead for them if you marry that girl or guy or how could you be so selfish and bla bla bla...why do they become so irrational at times...even when they know that their child is not happy with their choice of girl or guy and want to marry someone of his/her choice... very conveniently they choose to ignore their child's tears and pain...Well! are'nt they becoming selfish here??? Why on earth do they put their own child in such a sick position, where he/she has to make a choice between his/her parents and beloved...when they know that their child is attached to them and will get ready to marry a girl/guy of their choice .... how could they ignore their children's happiness and get so harsh on them???
Well, apart from the above there's another ridiculous reason for not permitting their children to get married. Sometimes, i believe, when there's no problem we have to create a problem ... since we are some sick negative fools who can neither live nor let others live happily. Can you imagine a situation where both the parents are ready for their children's choice marriage but the marriage is still not taking place because they get stuck with the venue...ha!
The situation arises when girl's parents and and guys parents stay in two different cities or States....and the isue is who shall come where for the marriage...Girl's parents insist the groom's parents/relatives to come to their city because girl is supposed to leave from her "Babul's house" being an age old cutom... but guy's parents don't agree and insist the girl's side to come to their city and arrange for marriage as they can't be expected to go so far being "Groom's Parents". And in the entire episode it's ultimately the girl and the guy who suffer. And if the girl and guy oppose their parents and decide to simply have a registered marriage...the parents have a problem with that too (what will the society say)....and start blackmailing their children that they'll die if they take that step...and ultimately the marriage is called off...and children marry someone of their parents choice and..... live life unhappily!!!
I wonder, what do parents get from all this???
All i want to say is that once the child has grown in to an adult, why can't parents allow him/her to live their lives as per their wish? Why do they want to have hold over them or dominate them throughout their lives???.... When they know that their children have reached an age where they can think independently and rationally, why can't they accept it???
A humble plea to all the parents is, please stop playing with your child's life...agreed that a child is indebted to you for his life but that doesn't imply that you have a right to dominate your child forever ...give them space in life as every individual needs it....just because children marry someone of their choice does'nt mean that you loose importance in their lives...children always remain attached to their parents...and you'll always be loved and respected by your child provided you learn to accept and respect his/her choices in life.
2 comments:
Didn't know you write too, was a good treat to go through it though:)..a very trivial issue but a lot kinda handling...will keep a watch here now onwards, so keep blogging.
" By the time a man realizes that his father was usually right, he has a son who thinks he's usually wrong. "......
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