Freedom of choice of a woman - an individual !

The most essential element in the harmonious development of an individual’s nature, be it man or a woman, is freedom.

Ignorance, prejudice, absurd modes of thought prevalent in various ages, conventional restraints of an arbitrary nature – these and like causes have prevented us from seeing what a woman might become if she were left unfettered by all influences but those that are benign and congenial.

During the British rule in India, many reformers such as Ram Mohan Roy, Ishwar Chandra Vidyasagar etc. fought for the upliftment of women. Their efforts resulted in improvement in the status of a woman and she was freed from the ills of sati, child marriage and ban on widow remarriages. While many factors influence the parts individuals play in their society, education has always been the crucial element in the establishment of social roles. Education was the catalyst which changed women's lives in society from what they were in the late 1800s to what they are now. Moreover, post-independence, the introduction of the Constitution of India provided further relief to women. Our Constitution not only grants equality to women but also empowers the State to adopt positive measures for neutralizing the socio-economic, educational and political disadvantages that women could be facing.

Despite all these measures, ask a woman of this modern era if she has attained freedom of making her life out of her own free will, and you may find what we could call the complete development of a woman’s life has yet not been achieved – thanks to the never ending conventional restraints by our society. From ancient times a woman has been entrusted with the job of managing home by our society, irrespective of her will. She has been playing roles of a daughter, wife, mother and daughter-in-law and has been considered an epitome of love, care and affection. Cooking, cleaning, washing and looking after children are considered to be the domain of women and are something men wouldn’t like pleasingly to be associated with. Who created this bias? Are all women created to do the same work? Sentimentalists may reply, "it is the biological characteristics that determine, in part, the kinds of work that any human being is capable of." However, in exploring the question of what women are physically and intellectually capable of doing, a valuable preliminary is the examination of what they have done. We all know and are very well aware of the fact that women have distinguished themselves in various spheres of life as politicians, orators, lawyers, doctors, engineers, astronauts, administrators, governors, prime ministers, diplomats and business women. There is hardly any sphere of life in which women have not taken part and shown their worth.

Now considering the lives of home-makers, how many of the women in reality are given recognition for the work they do at home? Does anyone acknowledge the fact that she has sacrificed all her desires to make her family happy and complete? Does anyone respect her for cooking, cleaning and nurturing children at home? Did anyone pay heed to her desires in life? No, because according to our society she is meant to do this and has always been taken for granted. No one cares that she too is an individual and could have desires in life. For instance, when u see a working son making his mom clean his sports shoes and making an indifferent statement such as "she’s a house-wife and stays at home so, it’s okay", we can very well judge the respect "Home-makers" get from their own family members.

Although our society has improved over the years and has realized the fact that women too could choose to work and be independent, however the traditional views of the position of women within society are so deeply ingrained that they have not really changed. A working woman gets tattered in creating a balance between the house and her job. She is expected to be a super-woman so, she finds herself doing two jobs - one at home and one at the office. If she seeks help from her partner at home to do the dishes or prepare meals she is considered to be insolent. Moreover, once she has kids, she is expected to leave her job and take care of the children, their well-being, studies etc. And the women who protest against it are termed as feminists.

Motherhood and raising children haven’t been devalued because of feminism and women working in the corporate world, instead, they have been devalued precisely because they are seen as "women’s work" and unsuitable for men. Women who work as CEOs are unembarrassed by this fact, however, there continues to be some embarrassment on the part of men who live as "house husbands." Is this because of feminism? Certainly not. Rather it’s this unchanging attitude of our society that makes women rebellious and fight for their freedom of choice who is in turn blamed as feminist. Valuation of occupations like raising a family won’t be achieved by stopping feminism and taking women out of the regular workforce. It will be achieved only when women’s contributions to society, whatever form they take (house-wives or working), are valued as much as men’s contributions. That, however, won’t happen until women are valued as much as men.

Why can we not simply look at a woman as an individual just like any other man? It is certainly easier to think in terms of men and women, black and white, wealthy and poor, educated and ignorant, than in the detailed, practical terms of "this particular being" or "that person with such-and-such skills and potential and passions." Over the years increasing number of women are subverting their personal natures by seeking earnestly to determine "my role as a woman" and "women’s function in modern society" before they have examined their roles as individuals. In the modern world, only the category of personhood is adequate for meeting the needs of the society as a whole. As we cannot afford to squander our natural resources of minerals, food and natural beauty, so we cannot afford to discard any human resources of brains, skills, and initiative, even if it is women who possess them.

While rules and laws have changed, freedom of a woman cannot completely be secured by constitutional guarantee or a positive legislation, until the conventional values held by the society are changed. Freedom of choice should be that of an individual, irrespective of the category. Let a man or a woman alone have freedom of choice to live as per their wish.